Negative

I see them everywhere…
New mothers,
Brand new babies.
You see me get starry eyed,
And you know I want one.
But I’m only seventeen…
I know you remember
When we thought I could have been pregnant…
I took the test
At the recommended time…
The test was negative…
You were so relieved,
I was disappointed…
“We’re too young”
Was all you said
As I laid in bed and cried.
Never did it occur to you,
That I was hoping,
Hoping for a positive result…
I was excited…
My thoughts and dreams
Were of us as a family,
Holding our new baby…
It felt right,
Perfect…
You never saw the tears
That were shed,
After the test results
Revealed themselves.
I had hoped
From the bottom of my heart,
That I was pregnant
With your child…
I want to be a wife,
A mother…
I love you,
More than anything…
A baby would just be the two of us,
Perfectly combined,
In a single body,
And a single soul.
Big “fall in love me” eyes,
Mommy and Daddy
Wrapped around the smallest of fingers.
Can you see it as vividly as I can?
The first intentional smile
Would melt our hearts,
And we’d bend to the every whim
Of that precious child.
But it’ll have to be later in life,
Seeing as I’m only seventeen,
And the test was negative…